i greet them
but i close the window before someone could answer me
they say goodbye
but i run after them, trying to fix what i broke
I'm wearing the same old hoodie
i took it off
and i realized i don't look as heavy as i thought
i can see the veins intertwined with my bones through the skin on my arm
i can't even lay a finger on myself
I'm scared
that's why I'm fearing getting out
i see myself so fragile
and i didn't even realize
as if i didn't look in the mirror a long time ago
the weight of my own dirt makes me feel weak
the lightest pressure could break me down
i close the window to not see evil
i close the window to not hear evil
i close the window to not speak evil
purity is the absence of imperfection
then, i seek purity in my thoughts
i seek purity in my words
i seek purity in my actions
purity is the balance between innocence and perfection
purity is something absolutely amazing
absolutely wonderful
absolutely awesome
i soaked in purity, but i ended up drenched with dirty water
the paint on the wall dries and cracks, peeling off it
like when i peel the skin off myself, layer by layer
hate overflows from me
my blood slowly runs down my face until it falls, letting the sheets absorb it
when i go to sleep, i still hear the creaking, somewhere inside the house
i was just about to fall asleep, but i couldn't because of that sound
i hide under my blankets, sweating and praying to fall asleep soon
my window was closed, locked because it's covered in cobwebs on the other side
the sounds are not letting me sleep
i start to wonder if there's really someone outside
or if it's just my mind wanting to mess with me
i lift up my head
the blanket was not letting the air reach my lungs
then i take a deep breath
the dream catcher on my wall isolates the annoying sounds, letting me breathe peacefully
the dream catcher mutes the voices i don't wanna hear
but it lets them slip out in the morning when i wake up
finally, i don't know if i should close the window, or open the door
so i just turn off the lights
and stare at the darkness
while the bed swallows me
and the voices enjoy their freedom
the weight of the darkness is more comfortable than the purity