nerd

i feel myself being placed back on the floor

my legs still shaking and weak from being held so high up. i feel a pang of disappointment that we're not being so close anymore.

but i know your arms need a rest after holding me like that...

i look up at you, my face flushed and my heart still racing.

i can feel your words more than i'm able to hear them.

i admired our vulnerability, the way our guard dropped when we were peacefully joined by the silence.

 

just look at them!

 

he keeps his arm wrapped around her, the feeling of her body pressed against his is both comforting and slightly arousing for them.

he can feel the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes deeply. his eyes roam over her face, taking in her features – the smoothness of her skin, the slight pout of her lips, the way her hair drapes across her pillow...

a part of him wants to poke, prod, and find a way to mess with her, just for the fun of it.

but he also finds himself admiring her vulnerability, the way her guard drops when she’s sleepy, it's fascinating, so much so that I want to mirror it, i want to imitate it.

i wish we could go back and start again, getting back to the same.

on the other hand, she's tempted to shake him awake and say something snarky, just to break the silence and bring him back to reality. but she restrains herself, knowing that he needs his rest. 

especially after all the hell she’s put him through.

 

damn, i can't. i can't stop imaging. since the last time I saw you, i just can't.

i hope that the way you play with the strap of my blouse could be the same as you did when it all started. 

my feelings are mute in this situation

so i can't do anything

blue sundays, weird things.

comfy room, comfortable place

there's nothing better than being here, i don't want to get up,

i don't want to go out. this heaviness, it's killing me.

guess i have to endure, but still, i don't wanna get out this room.

outdoors, it scares me, i wish i could impregnate myself against the walls and live here forever

impregnated in the walls

forever and ever

keep myself there, where nobody can see me, nobody can hear me, nobody can touch me, nobody can perceive me

i closed the blinds

i locked up the door

i locked up myself

i blocked up myself from society

i will i swear i will I'm not lying I'm better than that please believe me I'm desperate i need help but i know myself I'm not gonna let anyone know about this.

blue sundays

blue hands, after painting a picture

blue sundays

blue eyes, after relapsing

blue sundays

blue mind, after messed everything up 

i know I'm wrong, but he says I'm not

guess it's because I'm paying a monthly session for those words