staples

discreet way of cutting
staples
the bandages on my face are getting wet because of my tears
but there's no relief as i thought it was supposed to be
everything's just a blur
like a dark fog that clouds my mind
i can't think straight
i can't feel anything except emptiness
everything feels so exhausting
i feel like I'm drowning and there's no water
i've been stripped of my sanity
as if it was suddenly torn away
everything feels lost
i'm stressed as hell
i'm tired
although i know i'm not the only one who felt this way
i care nothing about me, about anyone else, about anything 
i've been crying, i don't know for how long
i didn't even notice how come i ended up like this
until it was too late to fix myself
i am too broken to piece myself back together
there's a hollow echo in a room with no walls
when i breath i remember how heavy the air feels
it makes me want to scream but my voice is caught in my throat
i'm oddly tired
and it's not the kind of tired that some sleep can fix
the world could fall apart around me
and i wouldn’t lift a finger
i do not want to feel like this forever
but I'm starting to hear voices
i know it might sound weird
but that's just how it is and how i am
I'm a weirdo
I'm disgusting
i can't even stand to look at myself
the mirror reflects someone i don’t recognize
someone horrible
I'm covering the mirror because of these feelings
if i look into it i would break down
my face is full of scars
i look down
my arms too
a knot in my throat tangled with my vocal cords
a rope is locking my eyes from viewing further
i can't bear to face myself
ー "the mirror is a bastard"
i staple my eyes away from the obvious
ー "so i am"
I'm talking to the wall